Reflection on the feedback:
I realized that I wasn't taking it as serious as I probably should and was holding back from fully going in on this given assignment. I appreciate that feedback often, as it helps me focus in on what I need to change and sharpen the proverbial knife on any given assignment.
What did I change:
I took a longer time writing this version of the elevator pitch and included more pauses and effective aspects of communication to attract the listener to want to hear more about the product. While maintaining a level of professionalism, I also wanted to add elements of comparability that everyone could relate to, which I hope they see in this third edition of the elevator pitch.
Hey Andrew, I like this rendition more than your last one for sure. I think you still look a little uncomfortable in front of the camera though, which is perfectly fine. Your voice did sound a little low which could be because of your microphone, I am not too sure. But, I did notice those pauses you used and more emotion in the pitch. I think you should do a couple of more elevator pitches, even if they are not assignments we have left. You have the intellect and your written communication is great, you just need to have some cues in your head for the verbals. You need to speak a little louder than you are probably comfortable doing and show even more emotion when describing your product. Remember, its your idea, so own up to it fully and commit to it fully.
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a lot better on this pitch then the last one. You sounded confident in your approach and it sounds like you really know the product you are selling. By realizing what you needed to change and implementing these changes, it was well done. Your elements of comparability also help in your selling and gives away to compare the other products that are your competition. But I think your confidence of knowing the service you are selling is they key to why this one was better.
You are presenting the idea well and with just a little bit more emphasis it would be really convincing. I think it is good that your are describing real situations and seeing it from your customers' shoes. If you were to deliver this same speech with a better camera position and use some voice inflection it would be great. Good improvement on the last video as well.
ReplyDelete